Still Not Moving...

So, between stresses with work, family and especially with my partner, I'm failing at this weight-loss thing. It's especially sad for me because I really stuck to my stuff at first. I went to the gym several times a week. I kept my calories in check. What happened?

Typical view would say I over-did it and lost steam and this is completely my fault. But I don't believe its the truth.

I started out gung ho and positive and believing in myself. Then people canceled going to the gym with me. Then my partner would make a snotty comment about something I ate. That one is a kicker. I can eat ice-cream, popsicles, fudgicles, anything frozen, very easily in single serving sizes without over-doing it. I was able, for several weeks to have a treat like that, feel satisfied and stick to my dioet...I didn't cheat by forgetting to write things in. I built more calories in by working out too, so that was very cool.

But everytime I'd have one of those treats, my boyfriend would make some comment. "Forky, that's naughty." "Forky is eating dessert again." Yes, my boyfriend calls me "Forky". He'd never say exactly that he felt like I was messing up my diet. But I got so tired of saying to him, "I'm losing a steady one pound a week!" The treats at work started coming back in. He would stress me out in other ways, or I'd eat an extra meal with him because he wanted me to cook now that I was home.

Writing this now I see the unfairness of this relationship. He nearly broke up with me two days ago because he felt I was messing up his sleep schedule.

Right now, with these realizations, I'm angry with him for doing something like that to me (threaten the end of our relationship) when he killed a life long dream. I know I have a lot of fault in it. I must take responsibility. But he promised to go to the gym with me. He promised to eat healthier choices with me. I changed my eating schedule as much as I could to accomodate for when he wanted to eat. He won't accomodate his sleeping schedule to make time for me.

I want to wake him. But I can't. He'll bite my head off. So very sad about this odd revelation. I want to change it today.